Thoughts from an Introverted Dyspraxic

I’ll never punish my daughter for saying no.

The first time it comes out of her mouth, I’ll smile gleefully. As she repeats “No! No! No!” I’ll laugh, overjoyed. At a young age, she’ll have mastered a wonderful skill. A skill I’m still trying to learn. I know I’ll have to teach her that she has to eat her vegetables, and she has to take a nap. But “No” is not wrong. It is not disobedience.

1. She will know her feelings are valid.
2. She will know that when I no longer guide her, she still has a right to refuse.

The first time a boy pulls her hair after she says no, and the teacher tells her “boys will be boys,” we will go to her together, and explain that my daughter’s body is not a public amenity. That boy isn’t teasing her because he likes her, he is harassing her because it is allowed. I will not reinforce that opinion. If my son can understand that “no means no” so can everyone else’s.

3. She owes no one her silence, her time, or her cooperation.

The first time she tells a teacher, “No, that is wrong,” and proceeds to correct his public school, biased rhetoric, I’ll revel in the fact that she knows her history; that she knows our history. The first time she tells me “No” with the purpose and authority that each adult is entitled, I will stop. I will apologize. I will listen.

4. She is entitled to her feelings and her space. I, even a a parent, have no right to violate them.
5. No one has a right to violate them.

The first time my mother questions why I won’t make her kiss my great aunt at Christmas, I’ll explain that her space isn’t mine to control. That she gains nothing but self doubt when she is forced into unwanted affection. I’ll explain that “no” is a complete sentence. When the rest of my family questions why she is not made to wear a dress to our reunion dinner. I will explain that her expression is her own. It provides no growth to force her into unnecessary and unwanted situation.

6. She is entitled to her expression.

When my daughter leaves my home, and learns that the world is not as open, caring, and supportive as her mother, she will be prepared. She will know that she can return if she wishes, that the real world can wait. She will not want to. She will not need to. I will have prepared her, as much as I can, for a world that will try to push her down at every turn.

7. She is her own person. She is complete as she is.

I will never punish my daughter for saying no. I want “No” to be a familiar friend. I never want her to feel that she cannot say it. She will know how to call on “No” whenever it is needed, or wanted.

Lessons I Will Teach, Because the World Will Not — Y.S. (via poetryinspiredbyyou)

gaywrites:

"Here’s to strong women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them."

August 26: Women’s Equality Day 2014

thinksquad:

A Democratic Missouri state senator representing parts of Ferguson who tweeted multiple times “fuck you,” at Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon defended her choice of words on Fox News Monday saying she did so because she was tear-gassed for three days.

“The reason why I used profane language is because he has allowed us to get tear-gassed for three days,” Sen. Maria Chappelle-Nadal said. “I am one of his senators in his party and he was at the state fair enjoying a country concert while we were getting teargassed and shot at. And yes, anyone who’s going to get teargassed deserves to say a few ‘F’ bombs here and there.”

“I represent my constituents, not Gov. Nixon,” the senator said. “He has been absent from the minority community his entire career and only comes before us when it is politically expedient for him. Or when he’s running for office, and because he has been outside of this community…let me tell you this, and this is important for your audience to know. He has still yet to come to ground zero. Yet to come to ground zero. He’s been in Florissant, he’s been in Normandy, but he has not spoken to the victims of the crisis we are dealing with and that is why I have called him a coward.”

http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/missouri-state-senator-says-she-tweeted-fck-you-at-governor#32tdaru

every time you
tell your daughter
you yell at her
out of love
you teach her to confuse
anger with kindness
which seems like a good idea
till she grows up to
trust men who hurt her
cause they look so much
like you.
to fathers with daughtersrupi kaur (via rupikaur)

owning-my-truth:

tashabilities:

thefemaletyrant:

cheersapplespears:

thefemaletyrant:

everything-naija:

blood—sport:

Important things from Igbohistory Instagram. European colonialism has, and still continues to dismantle the myriad of sophisticated social constructs upheld by so many African ethnicities, by presenting Africa as a unit by choosing to ignore the huge ocean of differences between ethnic groups, let alone countries.

Did Igbohistory quote the person who actually wrote this? As I read this, I had the feeling that I’d read the exact words before and not from Igbohistory. In fact I believe that I shared a link to the original essay on my tumblr years ago but I can’t find it now, I will sha…

I was taught this in my African History class, and since then i stopped referring to my people (Yoruba) and other ethic groups of Africa and the world as tribes. This large groups of people are nations with strong rich history and deserve to be respected as such. 

i do hope that igbohistory doesn’t claim that this is their own work, and they simply forgot to cite where the information comes from. 

I updated! I made a mistake pls, it was very similar to another essay I’d read but not the same.

I BEEN saying this, YES.

'Tribe' is a white anthropological word meant to diminish.

And can people still stop referring to the Amazigh as “Berbers” which means “barbarian”. Otherwise great points.

Last year, in total, British police officers actually fired their weapons three times. The number of people fatally shot was zero. In 2012 the figure was just one. Even after adjusting for the smaller size of Britain’s population, British citizens are around 100 times less likely to be shot by a police officer than Americans. Between 2010 and 2014 the police force of one small American city, Albuquerque in New Mexico, shot and killed 23 civilians; seven times more than the number of Brits killed by all of England and Wales’s 43 forces during the same period.

The explanation for this gap is simple. In Britain, guns are rare. Only specialist firearms officers carry them; and criminals rarely have access to them. The last time a British police officer was killed by a firearm on duty was in 2012, in a brutal case in Manchester. The annual number of murders by shooting is typically less than 50. Police shootings are enormously controversial. The shooting of Mark Duggan, a known gangster, which in 2011 started riots across London, led to a fiercely debated inquest. Last month, a police officer was charged with murder over a shooting in 2005. The reputation of the Metropolitan Police’s armed officers is still barely recovering from the fatal shooting of Jean Charles de Menezes, an innocent Brazilian, in the wake of the 7/7 terrorist bombings in London.

In America, by contrast, it is hardly surprising that cops resort to their weapons more frequently. In 2013, 30 cops were shot and killed—just a fraction of the 9,000 or so murders using guns that happen each year. Add to that a hyper-militarised police culture and a deep history of racial strife and you have the reason why so many civilians are shot by police officers. Unless America can either reduce its colossal gun ownership rates or fix its deep social problems, shootings of civilians by police—justified or not—seem sure to continue.
You realize that everything the police are doing in Ferguson is carefully calculated, right? They’re purposely turning peaceful protests into riots. They’re purposely committing violence to incite violence. From saying ‘We won’t be answering 911 calls,’ which is a very clever way to set themselves up to be able to say, ‘We were afraid for our safety - any call could really be an ambush, our lives were in danger’ right down to the camouflage and the military tanks and wearing more body armor than a soldier in a war zone. Its exactly why they’re going for a media blackout - yet allowing certain photos through - they WANT you to see their tanks. They want you to see their riot gear. They WANT you to see a war-zone. They’re trying to sell the world the idea that this community is inherently and constantly a source of violence and turmoil - they want you to think that they [the police] are being attacked daily in a place so vicious they need full body armor. You know why? Because then, at the end of the day, you might just be able to believe the story they’re going to spin. They’re going to tell you that this (white) officer goes to work in this war zone every day - that he spends every working moment in constant fear for his life. They’re going to tell you that Michael Brown attacked this officer. And then they’re going to bring up everything that has happened in the aftermath and try to use it to convince you that he shot that little boy because he was afraid for his life. They’re setting up a defense. You mark my words, they’re trying to set up a defense.

My mom’s take on what’s going on in Ferguson (via actualbanshee)

Your mom isn’t wrong. That’s why it’s so important to keep the signal going. Too many are silenced with lies and fear and if they cannot speak then we have to do it for them.

(via auntpol)

peacefaithlove2:

This lets you determine/take tests for what you feel are your problems. Pretty sweet deal.

cognitivedissonance:

Tonight in Ferguson, Mo. Even CNN is calling out police brutality.

We are watching history unfold. Do not stand down. Spread the word.

No justice, no peace.

porcelain-horse-horselain:

fuckingradfems:

naturepunk:

thewomanofkleenex:

thinksquad:

Amid growing criticism of the military-style equipment and tactics deployed by police in Ferguson, Missouri, a Democrat from Georgia plans to introduce the “Stop Militarizing Law Enforcement Act” in Congress next month.
Rep. Hank Johnson asked his all his colleagues Thursday to join him in supporting the bill, which he said in a letter “will end the free transfers of certain aggressive military equipment to local law enforcement and ensure that all equipment can be accounted for.”
Images of assault rifle-carrying camouflaged police riding through Ferguson on military vehicles similar to the IED-resistant equipment used by American armed forces in combat have proven to be a jolt of energy for a long-simmering debate about police militarization. In his letter to Congress, Johnson signaled that he expects his bill to break through the partisan gridlock in the House.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/evanmcsan/democratic-congressman-will-introduce-police-demilitarizatio#32tdaru

THIS IS A GOOD THING TO CALL YOUR REPS ABOUT.

History in the making.

Call your reps, guys. This is so important

I don’t care if you’re some type of anarchist (manarchist) who is against all forms of government and refuses to engage and shit… you need to put your personal feelings aside and FUCKING CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVE, okay? If you have a phone, if you have access to a phone, if you live near a mall with payphones and you have access to a couple quarters, then you have no excuse. CALL. YOUR. REPRESENTATIVE.

porcelain-horse-horselain:

fuckingradfems:

naturepunk:

thewomanofkleenex:

thinksquad:

Amid growing criticism of the military-style equipment and tactics deployed by police in Ferguson, Missouri, a Democrat from Georgia plans to introduce the “Stop Militarizing Law Enforcement Act” in Congress next month.

Rep. Hank Johnson asked his all his colleagues Thursday to join him in supporting the bill, which he said in a letter “will end the free transfers of certain aggressive military equipment to local law enforcement and ensure that all equipment can be accounted for.”

Images of assault rifle-carrying camouflaged police riding through Ferguson on military vehicles similar to the IED-resistant equipment used by American armed forces in combat have proven to be a jolt of energy for a long-simmering debate about police militarization.
In his letter to Congress, Johnson signaled that he expects his bill to break through the partisan gridlock in the House.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/evanmcsan/democratic-congressman-will-introduce-police-demilitarizatio#32tdaru

THIS IS A GOOD THING TO CALL YOUR REPS ABOUT.

History in the making.

Call your reps, guys. This is so important

I don’t care if you’re some type of anarchist (manarchist) who is against all forms of government and refuses to engage and shit… you need to put your personal feelings aside and FUCKING CALL YOUR REPRESENTATIVE, okay? If you have a phone, if you have access to a phone, if you live near a mall with payphones and you have access to a couple quarters, then you have no excuse. CALL. YOUR. REPRESENTATIVE.